This is an assumption that all autistic children scream. They don’t. Lower functioning children on the spectrum scream because they like the sound of their voices and aren’t using them to talk. Or they have a health problem that they can’t tell a parent or doctor about. Pain will make them scream too, and since their pain thresholds are already low, they scream when they even so much as feel a pin prickle.
Parents have to recognize what the different screams mean. Just as a scream of terror in a horror movie means one thing and a scream of surprised means something else in another, so the screams of autistic children who do scream have their own meanings. Watching for other non-verbal body cues help parents figure out why their child is screaming.
A particular form of autism spectrum disorder that only affects girls is called Cri Du Chat, which is French for “cry of the cat”. It’s an extremely rare disorder but has become part of the spectrum because it attacks infant girls at the age of twenty-four months, the same time that autism begins to transform children who have it. Their cries, or screams, sound very much like the piercing cry of a cat being tortured, and will continue it for hours. It’s very unnerving to hear and even more unnerving to be around the whole time it continues. Supposedly over time it decreases as the little girl grows and continues to regress in all of her abilities.
As for high functioning autistic children who scream, they do so because they want you to pay attention to them and they think that if you aren’t looking right at them and acknowledging them when they talk you are ignoring them. They do not like being ignored unless they want to be. This behavior is easily correctable, as high functioning autistic children can respond and learn from discipline just as well as the next child. They just need to be reminded to use their words, because they have them and they can use them.
The spectrum is wide, with many variations on it. Generalizations such as this one about all autistic children screaming is precisely what promotes the stereotype that is hurtful and not helpful. If a child screams, it is safe to always ask the parent why; they might tell you that their child is fine or that he/she has autism spectrum disorder and this is typical for just their child. That is the truth, too. No two autistic children are alike; one may scream and the other doesn’t. It’s just the mysteries of autism. There are many more behavioral problems in children with autism. Apply these powerful behavior management strategies to control an autistic kid.
Hi I live next door to a kid who is on the autism spectrum and screams a fair amount. This article about screaming was very helpful. I don’t like to hear kids scream but this information helped me understand why it happens and what it might be.
Thank you Sheila for liking our post. We appreciate your input. And we also commend you for having sympathy now towards autism. I know sometime it does get on our nerves but it’s well worth it. Cause these special angels does offer pure love. You just have to enter into their world. Thank you again. God Bless!
My Daughter is fourteen and has started screaming. She is moderate on the scale. She also has ADHD and OCD. This article has helped and given me good insight. I believe my Daughter is attention seeking right now. I will ignore and reward her (good) behavior. Daily this disorder throws me. It is a life long process of learning. I have to always remember how hard this is on her. #livinginSydneyworld. Oh what a beautiful mind👪
My grandson is 3 with high functioning Autism and ADHD. He doesn’t sleep much and is always screaming at a high pitched level. We need some advice. It’s so tiring not only for me but my poor daughter.
Any suggestion welcome.
My son is 5 and also just started this highpitch scream.
Hello… I totally understand! My grandson is 3 1/2 and has begun high pitched screaming and spitting… it is unnerving… my daughter is 8 mo pregnant and I can tell it’s wearing on her. Any tips on how to curb this behavior? Thanks and blessings to all!
I’ve read about many kids that age not sleeping and screaming for hours on in. Is there some kind of drug that can be given to them to calm them down or make them sleep. It is so unfair on everyone. I’m fortunate I don’t have autistic kids because I know I would be in a mental hospital or the child would be. So unfair to siblings too. Their life is being destroyed and their needs come last. People say well I love my child but how about your other child that is living with that madness and sometimes abuse from the autistic child. I read a lot of comments from siblings about getting beat up by thd autistic siblings and not once. Also, I’m not talking about little kids getting in a fight. I’m talking about teenagers or adult autistic people beating up a sibling or a parent. I would have to put that child away because they will usually never change. I know a woman that will be sitting by her 16 year old daughter and will just start beating the mother. She left bruises all over the mother. They just blew it off. She would not be in my house if I was the one beaten. The kid can make known all she wants by sign language or iPad so you know there is some intelligence in her brain. People are far too easy on autistic kids and always uses the excuse that they are autistic. Many are spoiled rotten. All these two kids I know off have to do is tell their parent what they want and they do it. One wants to be taken for rides all the time and eat constantly and they do it for her. She is getting plump
Now and will probably be as obese as the parents.
Don’t be afraid to use drugs scripted by your doctor. It could save your sanity. One lady said she wouldn’t use drugs even though her son gets violent. No, just wait until he escapes and beats someone He did hit his neighbor because he took down his own flag. He thinks everything is his and goes bonkers to see change. I wouldn’t be taking hin out in public. He went crazy because a teacher accidentally touch his hand.
I think it’s great that you are concerned about your neighbor and want to help. Other neighbors may want the child out of their neighborhood or worse may want to hurt them. All kids scream from time to time, but think of those with autism can communicate even less than comparable kids their age or younger. That means there less able to tell, even their parents, what they need. Keep the faith and the patience.
I’m so worried about my neighbors. I am the one with the Autistic child and My husband and I constantly worry about if they can hear or not, I have approached one neighbor and apologized but haven’t had a Run in with this other. Did you often think of calling the police or did you think the worst?
I’m just wondering…god bless us all.
Living next to an autism/screaming situation, I can tell you the emotion it brings out in me…Empathy. Feeling for the parents …whose patience with the little boy is endless. Courageous givers, they are very sweet family, and the sounds do not bother me in a bad way at all. Don’t even worry about that, Please! You have enough to carry without being worried about the neighbors. I turn on classical music in my back yard, low volume, and smile when the little boy’s voice sometimes blends a note with the music. Take Care. You are a great parent.💖
Om, you are an angel, I wish you lived next door to us, we’re currently being bullied by our neighbours, we’ve called the police twice on them because he’s threatening my almost 4 year old autistic sweetheart. He apparently has “remedies” for him and I’m supposed to “just wait and see”. It’s heart breaking, we deal with so much already, we have therapists who come to the house, he goes to specialized preschool 4x a week, he loves playing outside, he screams when he’s happy, mad, sad, scared, for everything, im hesistant to go into my yard anymore because of it, I’ve already cut out 1/2 of the world, flipped mine upside down to accommodate my lil man, if there’s one place you should feel comfortable, it’s home, we don’t anymore.
Thank you for being understanding, that family is lucky to live beside you.
The screaming is extremely triggering. I’m reading this because I wanted to look up whether the girl might be autistic. This is after 4 hours of non-stop blood curdling bloody murder shrieking. I have PTSD from multiple rapes and being beaten. Maybe you could be a little more understanding, and less selfish as well. It was a beautiful summer day until the screaming started. Now I can’t sleep and it’s 3am. The shrieking kid left 6 hours ago.
My Grandson is about the same. He is 4: born with a mild stroke, totally deaf (uses Cocklear implant), on Kidney and mild Autistic Syndrome. I believe my daughters neighbors are compassionate. He does not speak as yet. Specialists says probably about 6 yrs. So screaming is communication. This last Sunday he was screaming…..after Lavender oil, warm bath he settled down and had a Pooh!! He was evidently a bit constipated. It IS a ’round the clock ordeal but with Daily therapy and Constant Support with Love we are praying for the Best of Outcomes for him and the entire family. Blessings to you and yours!
I wish there were more neighbors like you. Ours just want us out of the area, no compassion, nor understanding. Yu have brought tears of joy to me as I now still hold hope for humanity.
God Bless your Tender Heart! My Grandson is 4: mild stroke at birth, totally deaf/uses Cocklear implants, only has one kidney, mild autism. Yes, it is scary and frustrating when they scream. My daughter tries everything from Lavender Essential oils, warm bath, etc. until something breaks his need to scream. This last time, he was a bit stopped up and the warm bath helped him pooh. BUT oh is loving hugs and smiles!!!
This is so me. My little is five and throughout the day he will let out high pitched screams and I have the same fear.
I to have a neighbor who lives upstairs from me who’s son has autism. He runs around like he is running a marathon an screams from the time he gets up until he goes to bed. What do I do?
My son is 7 and we just found out that he has autism 😪 it is very hard being the parent of a child with autism
My child does scream hit and push
This only started last AUGUST when he started school . It’s very hard to reason with our son . When we punish him him , we tell him we are taking his stuff and he gets upset and tells me I’m taking away your stuff . He has only been in therapy about 6 months and doing better as far as sitting with his back to class but now they say he is mean in School
autism is becoming more common now that they are learning what it is
Now it 1 in 49 Kids
And yes I’m very thankful for your understanding
I also live next door to a family who have a son who screams, but it’s sometimes for a quarter of an hour. The first time I heard it (the first day I moved in) it was for such an extensive period of time that I assumed he had some kind of disorder. It’s a daily occurrence, at any time of day. I went over once because he sounded so distressed, I thought maybe someone was hurting him. The parents don’t speak much English, but he seems to be fine, not being abused. He rides his bike around the complex (he’s probably 4 or 5 years old). Perhaps it is autism, just not the way I’ve ever seen it. I wish there was some way to help him. It’s very disturbing.
We too live next to a family with an Autistic child who is out in the yard at all hours of the day and night swinging on his swings and screaming for hours. I really feel for the family, but I also feel for the neighbors. Can’t anything be done to help? It is sad for him but unbearable for everyone else.
I also live above a family with a child with autism at least I think it’s that the parents are not doing much to help the child they can not control him I will be moving out soon the screaming drives me crazy it’s higher than the tv it vets all day long and when it’s not crying it’s screaming
Gosh, I worry what people think with my son, he is very intelligent when he WANTS to learn something and has amazing motor skills, my son builds things with Legos and when we get cramped in the house my son loses it. Which is often since we live in a rain shadow. Those are hard weeks and months. My son screams because he refuses to communicate, we cannot read his mind and he screams extremely loud for hours. My sons got adhd and is on the spectrum. I imagine , from the sound of it your neighbors son may as well, because they don’t speak English they may not even recognize or know how to seek help for such.
I understand and the people on here making bad remarks about the parents or the child witch autism
Do not understand and would rather lay blame instead of reading about autism or even asking
I have no problem talking about my son autism
I enjoy educating people about autism because I was that person who knew nothing about autism!
My brother joe would very often throw his screaming fits for hours at a time. I always felt like he was punishing us for whatever reason. He is a severe autistic and even today at age 46 he has no real communication skills, maybe that of a 3 year old child,he is also very destructive of himself and of property like smashing out windows. The only way he stopped the screaming was when his voice changed around age 13. He also wets and messes in his pants and often masturbates himself in public. It was always known that he has homosexual tendencies and has been caught at it a few times. He also has a tendency towards violence particularly to women.( he nearly killed our mother) He is at Whitten Center in Clinton, South Carolin a and gets very professional care and though they try their very best to train him it is mostly useless as he has changed very little since he was diagnosed at abouit age 3. My parents were duly warned about the RH Blood Factor by an excellent doctor from Union, S.C. named Dr. Fielder and also my mother’s advanced age (40 years). My father is a diagnosed schizophrenic who also has gay tendencies and is destructive and abusive and also would attack our mother in fits of uncontrolled rage. People should pay attention and not have children indiscriminately particularly when one or both parents have mental type issues.
Just wondering if you have or would like to have children as you share the same genes? Is it your place to judge who should and should not have children? Also being gay has nothing to do with mental stability.
Being gay can be traced to genetics now. It’s not unacceptable, I don’t see how she was making it out to be unacceptable. My closest friends are gay, I’ve only just begun studying genetics and neurology, but I have had a class where it explains the new studies on the connection.
You want to bet on that? Loud, screaming & violent behaviour is disturbing to everybody & involves all. They should be locked up in an asylum as autistic, & if violent behaviour is displayed.
The above reply was for Michelle.
So autistic children should be locked away if they act autistic? That’s crazy? So how’s that helping them live in this society as well as your freedom allows you to by locking them up? What’s the reason? Oh you’re being too autistic! You should be locked away in an asylum made up for dumb people and people that have no reality of how life works for some people. Damn you and hope you never have a loved one diagnosed with such a life long disorder in your presence cause they will never get the help they need and desire! In the meantime I’ll pray for you!
I’m with you on this one my partner has an autistic child who is 12 thinks hes intelligent but really isnt, poor kid thinks walking past a church will make him religious and opinions dont exist lol no matter how many times you correct him hes right and I’m wrong, just sits on devices all day screaming about what someone said years ago, I have a 1 year old sun who has just started walking and then theirs this stressful little selfish child who doesnt give a shit about anyone, he lives in koo koo land, often trying to break the glass in the house, damn hes broke 500 pound laptops 200 pound phones etc. Beyond a joke, no quality of life for anyone, make us want to end our lives yet I cant leave my son behind in this world, we are stuck with this crap for the rest of our lives with having no life at all. Damn I hate the hype that it’s all rainbows and butterflies and aw arnt they special beautiful people… NO THEIR HORRIBLE. My favourite film at the moment is 300 at least they got the concept of keeping our genetics strong in order to survive a very cruel world yet here we are wasting precious resources and oxygen on people that are just wasting precious life that has zero quality unless someone else is sacrificing theirs. I hate atisum because it destroys multiple lives just for the sake of keeping one cabbage happy. That’s the hard truth, debating prison of death at this point what’s the point of suffering, dont get a break from this cunt of a child.
i HOPE YOU’RE KIDDING. PEOPLE SHOULDNT HAVE CHILDREN IF THEY HAVE MENTAL DISORDERS? ARE YOU GOD> I DIDNT THINK SO. AND IMPLYING THAT HOMOSEXUAL TENDENCIES ARE THE PRODUCT OF A MENTAL DISORDER IS RUDE AND UNINTELLIGENT. YOU SIR SHOULD PROBABLY BE THE ONE TO NOT PROCREATE, WE WOULD APPRECIATE IT. THANKS
So it’s okay to internationally creat a human who will suffer for life? Let me guess you’re a pro birth? People are allowed to feel that way when their parents are the ones who made poor choices. Adoption is 100% possible.
For Nicole, you have a low IQ & are probably sufferering from some mental imbalance as you don’t seem fit to understand. Autistic children are uncontrollable & wear their parents out. They should be put down at birth. You couldn’t manage one of these kids for 10 minutes. Their parents have to be their caregivers for LIFE.
Anne are you serious? Saying that autistic children should be put down at birth??! You disgusting vile person!
People who make these disgusting comments are small minded and have no understanding of autism whatsoever so should keep their mouths shut and their options to themselves.
Wow!!!!! You are kidding me right. My son is autistic and I would die without him. Once you have children you always have children.
You have got a serious need for education related to stigma and how it can have an effect on others. I sincerely hope no one ever treats you this way. It’s because of people like you that autism parents and people with mental illness do not seek help or support. Beyond ignorant.
My son is 15 and going through puberty. He’s autistic, plus has another 6 diagnoses. He’s non-verbal and screams a lot when angry, excited, tired… he tantrums like a 4 year old. It’s very difficult to deal with but I try my best. To make my life “easier” my neighbor has started calling the cops. This now excites my son even more, makes him angry when the cops won’t blast the sirens, and then I’m terrified he’ll go into a seizure because he gets to upset.
Love thy neighbor, right?
I would learn all the city, county, & state noise ordinances. Every single one, thoroughly. There are bound to be so many that almost everyone will violate them weekly. Then submit your own complaints. Why not, this is a dynamic they wanted so make sure they play by the rules too.
Omg!!! From one mom to another…
I can completely understand your frustration. Love thy neighbor is right….
Have you told your neighbor or asked the police to talk to your neighbor? What a terrible choice on the neighbors behalf. Very selfish.
Get your life back. Put him into an institution. Forget about him.
Nothing but a troll. Horrible being.
I really do sympathise with parents who have to deal with an autistic child but very few of you seem to realise the impact it has on one being a neighbour to a child who has meltdowns regularly. I have not had a solid night sleep in 4 years (been in my current home for 9 years) since a family with an autistic boy moved in. I desperately just want to have a day or week where my home is the place where I can recharge after a hard days work without being subjected to noise levels which I find intolerable. These occur 7 days a week, 365 days a year and I have spoken to the parents who where totally offended and angry with me. They continually have marital arguments in front of both kids so if its not the boys screaming or having a meltdown its them. I own my property and with the current economy cannot even look at selling it as I would lose money on it. Is it really unfair of me to expect that I can come home at 17h00 and expect to have a peaceful and calm and noise free evening and especially weekend in my own home?
At least you don’t have to be in direct contact with it, or have to be responsible for the kid, ……my son was recently diagnosed with autism, and he is non-verbal and a screamer, a crier …over anything and everything, even when he’s just playing he’ll yell cause he’s having fun its SOOO STRESSFUL!!! , my last neighbor was so tired of it, so she called CPS on us, and that made matters worse, now every little whimper he makes scares me, I think the cops are going to show up, we can’t even really correct him cause it makes him scream more, but we as devoted, loving, caring parents of these innocent children, stay strong by their sides, no matter how overwhelming and frustrating it can sometimes get, because that’s what good parents do. the point is you think you got it bad, and it’s so unfair…how do you think we feel, were there trying our best with what we got, which isn’t much when you can not control an autistic screaming child. its not your problem ignore it, if its that unbearable then move.
Julia, your answer to Felicity is inappropriate. She is not being hurtful or unsympathetic but you are.
She is not related to the screaming child. She has no obligation to that child. She is entitled to the quiet enjoyment of her home, however. You seem to think because life has dealt you a tough hand that everyone should share your misery.
If you think hearing constant screaming of a child you love is difficult, imagine how difficult it is for someone who does not have that bond with your child.
If this sounds tough, it’s no tougher than your position that other people should be deprived of sleep, calmness and suffer financial loss because you got a bad deal.
That made zero sense, your comparing oranges to bananas. The woman complaining CAN move. Actually has more ability to move than a family. It’s selfish and isn’t okay to come on to a sight where people seek answered or support and shame them. People live in fear enough. She is adding to it. Julia is 100% right. And at no time does she imply she wishes everyone would share her misery.
Why should someone move when they have done nothing wrong? I own my home. I have lived here 28 years. A screamer’s family can move.
Thank you, Susan. Not everybody is responsible for everybody’s child.
A bad deal? how rude. The rest of your response was appropriate, but referring to someone with autism as a “bad deal” is a BAD COMMENT
cant agree more, said it well
Thank you Susan, I truly feel for the family’s of autistic screamers, but they are imposing on the rights of those around them. Their problem should not become someone else’s problem. I understand why a person would call the police. Loud music, a person screaming, it is all noise to me.
I gotta say, as a parent of a non-verbal Autistic child, who screams bloody hell every time we put our car in reverse, change activities, or do something she doesn’t like, our child is beyond our control at times. Did it ever occur to you that the parents cannot fix the problem with their Autistic child? What are you suggesting they should do? Are they doomed to isolate themselves like hermits so as to not offend their neighbors? Perhaps if you understood that NO ONE SIGNS UP TO BE THE PARENTS OF A CHILD WITH A DISABILITY, you can understand that the difficulty they are having is no one’s fault. It’s not like they can stop their child’s behaviors so as to not offend you. It’s you that needs to adapt, not the other way around. Pick up a book or do some research about the condition and stop playing the victim role. Buy yourself some headphones and some audio books, meditation CD’S, or start a new hobby to help you relax, but make sure it has nothing to do with shaming a struggling family. I know from personal experience how hard this is to cope with. Please don’t expect them to adapt for your needs too. It would be helpful, to not have to explain ourselves as parents, to a disapproving on-looker.
I can’t even go shopping, go to the library, eat at a restaurant, or do laundry at the laundromat without my daughter having an outburst. She is also proned to spitting, pinching, or throwing things. We have started therapy recently to help modify her behaviour, but she is only 3 and still in the early stages of learning. Our lives are truly turned upside down as it is. I cannot make time to deal with disgruntled neighbors. I say that without any apologies…
I agree with Julie, it’s so awful for you to deal with, boo whoo, have you ever dealt with it on hand in person. You CAN leave, you choose not to- do to “losing money”. I’m sorry a life force who struggle more than your 17 hour work days disrupts you. I’m thankful you are not our neighbor
Felicity, you have no idea the impact of dealing with a child who suddenly lets out this high pitched scream. Put yourself in their place. What do you suggest, is the answer to stopping this?? Can you imagine the stress the parents are under. I am a grandparent and I can tell you it not easy!
Why is this Felicity’s problem to solve? It’s not her child. She has a right to come home to a quiet house – as she did for years before this family moved in.
Their problems are not hers and asking for a good night’s sleep in one’s home is not unreasonable. Expecting that innocents must suffer is.
She does not have a “right” to come home home to a quiet house. She lives in a community which includes all types of individuals, pets and their accompanying appropriate noises. (the sounds coming from the autistic child are unfortunate, but within the realm of appropriate and expected behavior of such child) If she expects total peace perhaps she should live in an adult community that doesn’t allow children or pets pets. She then will have a higher chance of living in the environment she desires. The “right” she has is to pursue this type of environment. I hope she thinks about it so she can be happier. However, if and when she moves I hope it isn’t to a condo in which she could be living above someone who loves music or underneath someone with hardwood floors! It’s hard to be the parent or the neighbor in such a situation. Has anyone asked what it must be like for the child? Compassion for all parties would go a long way in understanding. I know of one person with a similar complaint that used headphones or earplugs when they must have silence. Perhaps it provides some relief for the neighbor.
Did you just imply bringing an autistic child into the world (often unknowingly, until the child like 3) is entirely the fault of the parent for the child’s suffering? Are seriously implying a complaining woman has more right to be there than parents who have “made a child suffer”?
Felicity, you are correct. Incessant screaming is unacceptable. Its never acceptable to make one’s problems other peoples problems. Unfortunately for some reason if an autistic person makes horrific sounds that are unlike any other sounds made in the neighborhood, all must suffer because as someone said here, the parent is suffering. I am not a believer in that tyoe of entitlement thinking. Yet what is being said here is that the autistic person or their family is not expected to have any respect for you or your family. It is bizarre, illogical and unfair. The screaming and we are not talking normal child sounds, is horrific, depressing and psychologically abusive to those around it. The parents are not using the right behaviour modification tools and or their kid is severe and needs to be placed where professionals know how to handle this.
All you people that are slandering autistic kids and their parents are damn right disgusting and obviously know nothing about it, your all so quick to judge what you don’t know and that’s because you are all ignorant to it and all you see is a screaming kid!! Your all pathetic !!!!!!!!!!!!
All the parents out there who have autistic kids just ignore these sad people, your doing a great job looking after your kids and it does not matter what anybody thinks especially people who can only broadcast anothers family business on the internet.
Amen Michell, I can’t even handle these people who DONT have these kids blaming the parents. My husband and I got genetic testing we dos everything right. I believe in abortions and would have jumped on it if I believe i would bring a suffering soul into the world. I think at any point you accuse a parent of being a piss poor parent because they cannot afford a 4,000 dollars a month therapy which still takes months to years to really start showing is even more unfair, even more disgusting and entitled thinking.
Lyn, I made the mistake of reading your post and in my attempt to control my anger toward your post, I am going to politely recommend that you educate yourself about autism prior to making future post. Your statement that “parents are not using the right behavior modification tools and or their kid is severe and needs to be placed where professionals know how to handle this” is very obvious to me that you definitely do not have a clue about this disorder. Take some time out of your day to read about it and become informed. Felicity, I am sure that the noise level spilling into your home from your neighbors is not intentional. There are inexpensive means to block the noise filtering into your home; electronics that filter noise, planting trees, plugging in a water fall type feature, installing double pane windows, insulate your walls better ~ all of these are choices that will allow you to come home to peace and quiet.
I love your reaponse, thank you for standing up for us moms and dads with children who struggle.
Maybe we shouldn’t be subjected to the inconvenience od a wheel chair if ever you should need one one that inappropriate appearance in our neighborhood nor any inconvenience in which you, vendors or others who may created disturbances of the noisy use of it building of it the repairs etc. Nor should we be expected to your screaming pain you may end up with if you suffering the uncontrollable pain of screaming from cnancer. We selfish individuals have become far too self srrving! Self absorb ed, selfish period. If you call yor yourself a Christian maybe you should beg for mercy & compassion.
I know this is old, but I just came across it. I do sympathize with neighbors to autistic childern. I have an autistic child who can be very loud. We lived in a triplex before he was born and it took awhile for us to be able to move after his diagnosis. I get that people feel it’s not their problem and shouldn’t have to deal with it, but autism rates are very high and not everyone can afford to live somewhere without close neighbors. I think that more people need to push for adequate housing to be available to these families in order to help everyone enjoy home life.
Wow! I’m sure they own their home too…. Maybe you should “walk a day in their shoes”. Maybe a move would be your best option. Thus disorder is hard on everyone. No one in my family invites us over. Only my Dad. The rest are to busy with normal children. I am blessed. God has let me see both sides. Two normal and one special needs children. You should offer your neighbor a break. Lend a hand. I’m sure they could use the help. I would advise reading all you can about the disorder. It will help. God bless and my prayers for all of you.
Well stated Tracey.
From an autism parent, here is my advice to you from me… f*** you! Move!
Best comment here .. honestly if you think you know how to handle a child with autism come on over to my house I been a single father of a 6 year old who is high functioning screaming etc .. ALL I CAN SAY IS I LOVE MY SON AND WILL DO EVERYTHJNG AND ANYTHING FOR HIM .. if you don’t like my son screaming FUCK YOU and 9 times out of 10 there child the one who don’t listen and is a fucking horrible child I know so many kids without autism that are far worse then my child with autism.. HMM MAYNE YOU GUYS SHOULD LEARN TO RAISE AND TEACH YOUR KIDS TO NOT BE LITTLE DISRESPECTFUL pieces Of shit thanks LOVE FOR ALL AUTISM CHILDREN!!!!
No its not. You should be able to unwind. However don’t you think these people would love exactly the same you want. I know I wish I could just relax and unwind. Im constantly uptight, stressed and anxiety through the roof. They just want peace and quiet just like you do. As for them having domestics’. It’s probably due to the constant day to day stresses of having to deal with it all day and night every day. It’s very challenging and puts a toll on their mental health. My son has autism however i try to quiet him down as best as I can i can do this easily a hundred times a day. It’s draining and more importantly I don’t want to be.listening to it either. I get constant headaches from it. It’s not great to live with. Im.sorry you feel that way but also feel sympathetic for the parents. They don’t get a break from it. This is our life. We have to deal with so many stressful situations its a lot for us to cope with as well.
I am sure this noise would be ‘annoying’ for you because you don’t understand the situation properly. As the parent of a girl with high functioning ASD who screams and gets angry at the drop of a hat, I hate to be so bold as to say I resent these attitudes towards autistic children and how people, like yourself, think their parents should handle it. Ask yourself, do you think the parents WANT their child screaming?! It is HORRENDOUS to live with and believe me, neither the child nor the parents can STOP it!!! I can tell you now, his parents are shouting at each other because they are BURNT OUT and finding life hard to cope with. I am not a bit surprised they seemed ‘angry’ when you confronted them about the boy’s screams. I would have been livid if you had have knocked at my door complaining. The poor people need help not someone making them feel worse than they already do.
use head phones..good padded ones and put on music that you love..use an ipod and earbuds..you can walk around with those..It is not the parents fault or the child’s fault or your fault..you sound kind intolerent and not looking for ways it can work. take a vacation just really think of what a life of this is like for the parents and that child..horrible i would think..you can get up and go out or leave the area..they can’t..
You’re absolutely right. I feel for these families, but it is not fair to traumatize the neighbors daily. Then if one says anything, they label you selfish. They’re the selfish ones if you ask me.
I agree with you. I have renters next door with an autistic 5 yr old. The screaming doesn’t bother me but the throwing of rocks a d random crap at my windows in backyard does. Tried to talk to the parents and they could care less and say nothing they can do because he is autistic. I feel for the boy. Also they leave him outside playing alone and he’s always naked. I have reported the behavior as I don’t want broken windows or damage. So in this case I would love for them to move. I own my home and work hard to take care of it. I do not need damage. Since I reported this issue the neighbors have become assholes as if this is my problem and not theirs. Lazy and unbelievable
My son is 3.3 yr old. He is among the late talkers. But these days I hv noticed, he screams a lot. He screams and if we dont pay attention he himself will come and say “no shouting”. His teacher is very upset as according to her he pushes other kids in class when he is excited. Is it something I worry about? Or its just a passing phase? I am so confused. He is not being diagnosed with any of such disorders. Is this some behaviour issues?
Hi it can be sensory issues, my boy is 9 has the mind of a 6 yr old screams runs we live in a resort and most people understand he is adhd and autistic and there isn’t a time that I’m not with him I’m over ignorant people, and really just ignore it now, he runs when upset it is a hard walk for everyone and if we have any issues then they need to talk to me but we are trying everything we can.
My near 2 and a half year old screams and cries for no reason. He’ll throw his toys and then scream. We put him to bed, he’ll scream for an hour… he has not been diagnosed but he has many signs of autism. He’s very sociable though.
My son now nearly 3 has autism he screeches out a high pitched ear piercing scream constantly, when hes happy, sad, eating, bathing, playing, going to bed even does it in his sleep its just nonstop. Luckily for me my neighbours are very understanding not like a few on here who are basically saying “herd us all up & remove us from suburbs” or lock our kids away in an institution, Shame on you!!!! one can only hope your grandkids/kids are born NORMAL as they will get no support from you.
Sarah and Susan,
I am struggling with coping with a screaming autistic child neighbor. They are so close to use that I feel like he is in the same room. I feel for the parents and their non-autistic daughter, but it is really taking a toll on me and my health. I bought my home a year ago and they recently moved into a rental home. I can’t “just sell” my home as people so simply suggest. The family has a tiny one bedroom apartment, without air conditioning so they leave their doors and windows open all hours of the day and night. This means that if he isn’t screaming outside (which he often is, and often unaccompanied) I still am forced to listen to it. I want to start a dialogue with them, but they speak limited English and I don’t know how they will react or retaliate it offended. I don’t believe they have the resources for adequate treatment, and the fact that they let him scream outside, and don’t close their windows tells me that they don’t realize the affect on their surrounding neighbors. Any advice on 1. How to start a dialogue with them (we’ve never met) 2. Coping with their and now my situation would be greatly appreciated.
I know parents of these children struggle endlessly. But you can’t attack “us” the neighbors for these feelings. It’s really hard on us and we really feel like there is nothing we can do about it. I can’t get him therapy, shut their windows, etc. So rather than attack us and judge us, offer us help on how to approach them and help our neighbors, and learn how to cope.
I do understand your situation very well. If possible, find out what language they speak. Write a simple Letter about the situation and then Go to Google translate and do the translation in whatever their language is. I am assuming that you are leaving in a hot climate area. So if you can afford, buy them a small 1 ton A.C which cost around $90 or so. And buy the best Noise-Canceling Headphones and listen to your favorite music once in a while to alter the situation. Also If you can find out if there is any special ed school or instituion available. I kindly request you if you can please help them. Having an autistic child can be very tough for parents. So please help them. That way your situaion will change too. This is my 2 cents.
Suggest state Medicale doctors in your area who specialize in autism and do like other suggest, just sound helpful and as kind as possible. Use a translation tool like Google. If I was unaware, I’d want very much to be told kindly how to help myself and child. Thank you for asking and thinking of others.
I have a 5 year old high functioning autistic stepdaughter, my two older girls also. My kids were dream children to raise so far. My stepdaughter is very slightly developmentally delayed. She screams less these days, thank God. It used to be frequent. With her, it’s hard to tell what behavior is bratty, or what is more autistic. This is a constant struggle for me. I have learned to push her through her fears, of the pool ladder, of the treehouse, etc. If you observed these moments, you would think I was pushing her too hard, she would cry, shake, drool, scream, repeat random words, like “groceries, groceries help help” I put her back up on the pool ladder 16 times, she was a mess. The next day she climbed right up and it became her favorite thing. Never did she fear it again. I have done this over anything I think she has irrational fear over. This works for my autistic child, maybe not yours, but don’t listen to anyone who says, “don’t change that behavior she is autistic”. My question is this, she is not allowed to scream, we tell her all the time to use her words instead when she is frustrated. I have been mirroring her screaming, but louder, and bigger, this seems not gentle, not appropriate, and counter to good parenting. It does get her attention, I try to roar, like a lion, I try to not be emotional about it, but sometimes I’m angry, the human child scream feels like a neurological trigger, like a baby’s crying, it elicits a primal response. It infuriates me and my kids at times. The response an autistic child gets for annoying behavior is real-world, it’s not always nice, but this is Earth, we are human-apes, and this is, sometimes unfortunately, where the screaming ends up. This is where I am, her and I play a lot, she knows now that I won’t let her get hurt facing her fears, but the scream mirroring is an experiment, as is most of the autism parenting.
I like that you shared with us, I’ve been harsh with our son as well, he is told not to scream and to communicate. We usually let him scream it out for around 30 minutes with his beginning screaming he won’t even let us touch him so we have to, but after the first half we come in and offer hugs and try and talk to him. Some days work some don’t. I think I once screamed back at my son but it didn’t help. I felt really silly afterwards.
Thank you for sharing. We deal with our 7 year old son in a similar way. The end of your comment made me laugh. I needed that. 🙂
I have done this with my son mirror his screaming and its made him laugh.
Same here. Who can’t use a chuckle in the middle of meltdown.
I have to comment, although I do not have an autistic child or am a neighbor to one.
We have to look at basic human rights to our homes and peace of mind. I have taught autistic
children and yes, they are charming and have a lovable side that is unique to them as they are
usually guileless and so innocent and sweet. You don’t ordinarily find this in children who are
very privileged, many of whom I teach. At least not as much. So I adore these kids. However, I
have a right to peace and quiet in my home. My rights are no less than anyone else’s, even the
family with a special needs child. I teach the autistic children in a regular middle school classroom
with 39 other children. Sometimes it’s as many as 10 children with special needs in one room with
30 other children. It’s called a co-taught class, and in CA this is reality. The Sped teacher is rarely
there, as she has IEP meetings constantly. So it’s me, 30 regular students, 9 other students with
special needs, and your autistic child. Imagine it. I try so hard to meet all of their needs, often
falling short, but I love them and genuinely like them, so I am successful and popular with kids
and parents. Do I complain? NO. This is my job. This is work. They are allowed the same rights as
other kids, and too bad for me if I don’t like it. They only give me one class like this, and it’s not like
I can’t do it. I can. If I do not like it I can choose another profession. Is it fair? It is as fair as life itself.
Life is never really fair. If I don’t like huge classes, I can move to another state. My responsibility, my
problem. This is work, where I already have signed up for a challenging career However, let’s talk
about other kids. Imagine your own child getting bullied at school for being different. Kids call him
names, push him, laugh at him. This is real. Can you demand the school stop it? How? Control 2400
hormonal, want to fit in middle schoolers who do not have fully developed executive functioning?
No. You really cannot. They will find a way to still make fun of him. Your kid is in a situation of “real
life” where people will make fun of him. That is reality. You either deal with it or put him in a special
school. The reason is, this is school. Free school. Life is not fair. Now, put him in a private school. Pay one thousand dollars a month for an alternative school that will meet your needs. Now, is bullying okay? HELL no! You are paying a ton of money to prevent this, and be honest: that is exactly what you will say to the principal. Now, move to your neighborhood. If it were free public housing, agreed. You get what
you get. Bummer, but life isn’t fair. However, if you pay to live somewhere and it is expensive, and it takes a whole lot of effort and hard work to keep your home, it might be part of your serious needs to
a calm night and peaceful rest. In that case, YES you can complain. Just like private school: I PAY for this, and I selected this, and the county has to make sure I receive my peace of mind. Remember, you know you will squawk if the private school interrupts your child’s peace of mind. IF however, the neighborhood already has the autistic screaming child, I need to be aware of this and do my homework before I move in. Talk to potential neighbors. Don’t be a dummy. Life isn’t fair, but that extends to those who expect something that they are not willing to extend to everyone. It is no different than a couple who screams at the top of their lungs every night fighting. Their fault? Not so much. Alcohol may play a part, and alcoholism is a disease, more damaging than autism. Denial is part of it. If they move in, yes, I will say hey, it’s been peaceful here. Either shut up or move out to where you won’t bother people. Um, common sense. I would move if I thought I was a major pain in the ass to my neighbors and could not help it. I know parents of autistic children are very protective because they do get stereotyped and people can be real jerks; however, don’t let it take away your consideration and personal responsibility. Don’t act on emotion. I am out of the circle so I can be more objective. We can control some things, but not others. If I want a lower crime rate and safer home, I move to a better neighborhood. More money, but we all know that. If a former criminal moves in next door and falls back into his old ways and begins
to rob us…good-bye. Get out and find a new place to live.
Okay, I said my piece. I know I would feel differently if I were a parent of an autistic child. I get that. But I am not, so I have a more balanced perspective.
Criminals and autistic children are not the same thing. They can do a lot of other things to help miningate the sound issues. It’s not the same as private school, one you pay for a service, a house which you can move from is not a service. You’re not a paying customer at Burgerking if your next door at McDonald’s, so you don’t go over there and tell the BK manager to keep their guest quite it’s disrupting your store. This is not at all how these things work. She a right to feel upset, but she could be spending her time finding a way to help or correct the issue in her own space. Instead of wasting it on complaing on a forum
Hello my name is zodwa,we also have a child who is autistic,yoh! he like screaming maybe twice a day or 3times and we don’t know what causes that,eish!we are so stressful about it please help us.Thanks
I enjoyed reading your “piece”. As an ASD parent I sympathize with my neighbors.
P.S. Please don’t get into the whole public housing should be the same quality for everyone as private housing, because we all know it is not. It won’t be. Too many people abuse the system, and they will not be able to fix that. At school, we have a saying: Fix the things you can. Don’t harp about the things you can’t.
When teachers complain about parents, I ask them if they think they can change the parenting dynamic by complaining. The answer is no. So spend your energy on what you can do. If you want huge changes, then volunteer your time and your money to help them concretely in a way that might make a real change. Don’t be idealistic when the clock is ticking. Focus on the child
I think all of you who feel families with “screaming” autistic kids should move somewhere no one will be bothered are the lowest, most selfish people on the planet. Those suggesting the right treatments aren’t been given are ignorant or at least selfish. I have horrible noisy neighbours who aren’t autistic because they are alcoholics, yes I have done what I can with complaints to the right people though I can’t seriously say they should move or force them to. Families with a child with a disability are not at fault like other noisy people. They are truly is a terrible situation which has no easy answer. The parents have a right to peace and quiet as much as neighbours and they are denied, you think because you are not related that your rights are being violated though the parents just have to suffer because of the hand they were dealt. Sorry life’s not like that. Have a heart, what a sad bunch to want to sent autistic kids off to a farm where they can’t be heard. A lot of us would probably like it on a farm away from that kind of horrible community support though generally a lot of us aren’t that fortunate to have that option.
I’ve moved plenty in my life and no matter where you go there are problems. To say autistic families should move is saying your rights are greater than theirs because you were more fortunate. Those dealt a poor hand need extra support not discrimination. It is a crime to discriminate on disability. That’s my opinion anyway.
You’re a god send Laurence.
Why dont these parents get help for there child my wife is a one on one aid and has worked with many severe autistic child and tough them all how to communicate your child is acting out because you have not taking the time to teach them how to talk, so many parent just though there child in front of tv, being a parent like this take commitment 24 hour a day if ur not willing to this maybe give child up to someone who is….
Can you say ” AGHHHGGH”?
ALL F***ING DAY & NIGHT??
READY, AIM fire!!! Case closed. Seriously, nothing else works
Are you for real?!!
My 6 year old boy has autism, he’s non verbal – you’re saying that I’ve never taken the time to teach my child to speak?!!
He’s been in speech therapy for 4 years. The professionals are yet to achieve speech with him, just as we are.
Many children with severe autism also have learning difficulties. My son is functioning at the level of a one year old. I’m sure the best parents in the world wouldn’t be able to force their child of 12 months old, to talk, or stop screaming when they asked.
Wow, what a judgmental, ignorant jerk. I can assume that just as easily as you assumed things about parents. No kids the same, your wife DOESNT go home with these kids every night. She isn’t a parent to all of them. No two kids are the same. Your judgment just made you looks really awful as a human being. Feel proud of yourself and your shameless statement.
Jerry, I think you have won the most ignorant comment of the world award. Congratulations. I have a 22 year old non verbal autistic son. He had plenty of years of speech therapy amongst other therapies, and still non verbal. I don’t watch TV, and am a hands on parent, so your statement of us not spending enough time is silly. Your wife CAN NOT teach every Autistic individual to talk.She can’t, got it ?! You obviously have no clue. Not sure why I am even wasting my time and energy addressing you.
Sounds like a typical aid to blame the parents and try to take all the responsibility when they do say a few words. Lets not forget that aids also cause a lot of bad behaviors by doing or giving them things that cause them to have obsessions or upset the natural routine thus making it worse. I guess there is no such thing as autism, there is just parents that don’t let their kids hear human language so they never learn to talk. I guess talkative kids are lucky they must have had aids to teach them to talk. And parents that have one kid that talks normal and one that does not speak that then means one was locked in a closet without communication and the other was taught English and grammar at an early age. Trust me some parents try to force their kids to talk or potty train when schools are always blaming the parents. Help, you have to be kidding! Unless you have had a child and tried to get help you have no idea how little help there is. There are things such as service coordinator but they don’t give you services they are just there to be nosy. They say they’ll give you services then after you do the paperwork they say they don’t have that service. Drugs I have a child that is on 5 heavy tranquilizers of different kinds and different dosages and it has little effect. The school has actually caused her problems of bad behavior. She had a teacher that encouraged her to become violent just to get her kicked out of school and to try to blame the parent. As far as Juedevine we did that and tried ABA and used the contingency technique of first you do this then you can have that and all that caused was her to say I’ll be good if you let me have my way or whatever else she wants. She says give me what I want and I will be good. Luckilly we dont have close neighbors but I am sure the neighbors that are way down the road wonder from time to time if someone is getting killed because of her screaming for something that was bad bad habit started by a teacher.
The bottom line… when the autistic kid is screaming non stop or late at night its time for the parent to shut there window if they can. If your apartment is 90 degrees and its basically dangerous to shut the window due to heat exhaustion.. i completely understand. My neighbor lady has an autistic boy who screams and she leaves her window open every time even if its 70 degrees and nice indoors. Just shut the window for an hour or two when your kid is screaming at 2 am that’s all we ask.
Hi, I have a very low-functioning autistic adult brother who I grew up with. To be perfectly honest, I really don’t have any patience for him. It’s not because he’s completely non-verbal. It’s not because he’s not capable of being toilet trained, and wears diapers that I have had to change countless times. I really don’t mind the care factor at all. What I can’t stand is that he is the most hateful, angry person I have ever met. He does enraging things out of spite, though I don’t think he always understands the ramifications of the things he does, because he’s at about the mental level of a 2 year old. No matter how much you have to work to take care of him, he’s always creating more unecessary work. He slaps himself, sticks his fingers down his throat, bangs his head on the wall to the point of putting holes in it. And the screaming! It’s shrill, loud unnatural, and completely unlike any kind of noise a child might make. And he went through phases where it was constant, not even joking. The worst part is, there’s virtually nothing you can do about any of this, except maybe meds, if you can find any that work. It creates a very stressful, angry negative environment. It’s almost impossible to function in. So it’s not always that the parents won’t do anything, sometimes it’s that they can’t. No one should have to live in that kind of environment, but least of all people that aren’t used to it or closely related. It’s extremely unhealthy to be around that level of stress constantly. So I don’t really know what should be done, but there should definitely be understanding on both sides, and parents shouldn’t act like their neighbors are jerks if they don’t understand.
Wow I have a severely autistic brother I grew up watching th as well and I feel for you 🙁
As someone who on the autism spectrum I definitely feel bad for these non-verbal autistic individuals. In some ways, I can kind of relate to them even though I’m much higher functioning. However. parents of non-verbal/screaming autistic kids need to realize that the screaming can be upsetting and disturbing to other people. I was in a grocery store the other day and this low-functioning autistic girl was just shrieking her head off. It was like a horror movie scream. I have anxiety as well and hearing that made me feel like I was on the verge of a panic attack. If was living to live next door to a kid like that, I would honestly move. I’m not trying to be insensitive or ablelist but it is really upsetting for people who aren’t used to it to hear. Like I said before, I’m autistic myself so I can certainly sympathize. I just wanted to point out that it does disturb other people. Peace.
My 18 year old daughter was givin custody of her 6yr. Old austis brother. He has very few outbursts. But, when his mother is around its constant. Do you know why? Also, he was born addicted to methadone. We believe this is why he is autistic. Both parents are herion users and lost parental rights. He is very good with me, my daughter and my husband. His father is my ex and my children’s father as well.
To what extent does medication help autistic children?
I was adopted by a family with a very low functioning autistic child. She’s actually pretty sweet just difficult. Like a baby the rest of her life, but she was on medication that helped her sleep and another that helped with screaming. She was much older than my son who can’t take medications yet, however it was a day and night difference. Beth is thriving better now than she had before medications. I think it helps.
I’m going to say this. Yes people do deserve peace and quiet in their home. Yes they cannot and should not just have to move. But just because a parent has an autistic child who screams does not mean they haven’t got their child help and they are just ignoring it. It’s not something that’s black and white. You should get more educated about the Disorder so you understand and you need to talk to the parents and together come up with a solution. If you’re going to live next to each other for 10 years than maybe they can not always leave the windows wide open while you’re trying to sleep or little things like that. But you don’t need to post on a forum like an ignorant person acting like autistic kids are animals and that need to be controlled. And don’t call the cops on other people. They are children who are really getting abused and hurt that the police should spend their time investigating.
This helped a lot! Thank you. I have a neighbor with an autistic daughter and there’s times when she screams really loud. I decided to look up the reasons for it and found this. Thank you again. This little girl is truly beautiful. I also happen to have another question.
hi my name is jonathan,and i have my 32 years old brother who always screams very loud every time he hears the dog is barking,he will throw anything he can grab outside our house,he’s been like this for the past 10 years now,we don’t what to do,we almost close our house all the time,please help us what to do for my brother,we try all our best for him not to hear the barkings of the dogs outside,please helps us,we are from philippines
I have an autistic son and he can scream. My God can he scream. It rattles my nerves. I am a constant anxious, sleep-deprived mess. He is 4. I can’t just move house or walk away. He’s my baby. He gets all kinds of interventions, from therapy to medication. It’s just the way he is. He is disabled. I’m a psychologist. I’m doing my best, and he is getting the best care and help available. It’s a strange dichotomy in autistic children that they can’t stand noise yet are the loudest people on the planet! I am very sorry if my neighbours are disturbed by him. I am disturbed too. But I can’t walk away. YOU CAN. There is no end in sight for me. But here’s the thing, perfect neighbours. You annoy your neighbours too. When you let your dog out to poop in the yard and don’t clean it up for months on end, it stinks out the neighbourhood. When you put wind chimes at your back door and it tinkle tinkle tinkles all night… that might be pretty to you, but it’s annoying to others. When your teenage son brings home yet another fixer upper and your lawn has the wrecks of five old cars on them, it’s unsightly and very annoying. When you don’t put your trash out and your garbage blows all over the street so someone else has to pick it up, that’s annoying. Yes, people are annoying. But here’s the difference. You can’t discriminate against someone because of their disability, because they can’t help it. YOU CAN! Make sure you are a perfect neighbour before you start slating others. Then remember, they’re not doing it to annoy you. You think a child screams til they vomit for their own entertainment? Grow up. Put on some ear defenders, and get on with your life.
My 4 yr old grandson is in my care 3 days a week. He s autistic, my son and his wife and Grand son live with my husband and I, and can be challenging to say the least, my husband suffers from stage 4 lung cancer a very rare form. Grandson screams s everytime we are on the way home, he knows east from West literally and hard for me to carry him in the house kicking and screaming. When I set him down when we get in the house you would think we are torturing him, horrible! But I always quickly go to another room and he suddenly stops screaming and crying. He does not play with children his age very well, but loves kids older than him, he cannot or refuses to play on his own. His parents are flustered too, they tried pre school but one teacher there even as a special ed teacher did not treat him well. So he has teachers here in our home 5 days a week and helps a lot! Just wish we could find more ways to help him. My son and his wife still have not attempted to potty trian, so changing diapers on a nearly 5 yr old gets trying too for ke. I would train him but it’s futile if they do not encourage him the rest of the week. UGh
Just wanted to reach out to all of the parents and grandparents with and autistic child and say that I think your all earth angels! I have a two yo son who isn’t speaking and screams constantly to get my attention. My neighbours have been so patient and I am so thankful to them. I’m constantly apologising when I run into them and they just reassure me that it isn’t a problem (God bless them). For all of you that lack sympathy and compassion I’m actually disappointed in you all! To call the police repeatedly on parents that are clearly struggling and trying to navigate the best way forward for their struggling child while they’re probably sleep deprived, emotional and anxious is beyond me. Under these circumstances as a neighbour maybe pay them a visit and try and understand the situation better, you just might suggest something that may benefit everyone involved. Karma can be harsh if you are! The universe might just show you guys why you should have shown sympathy.
I would never wish it upon anyone!
Thank you for quick insight. My cousin screams and screams and continue screaming until it’s annoying. I don’t like to visit him. My aunt is cool but not my stupid cousin.